I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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