I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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