How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
