too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
