You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
