so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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