i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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