I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
