dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
