Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
