I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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