On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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