Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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