You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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