new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
