Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
