It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
