I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
and you fell through a lawn chair
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
