is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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