found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
