Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
