No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
