I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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