so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
