Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
