love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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