I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
