So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
