Can Purell be used as lube?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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