it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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