My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
sex in a hospital.. check
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
