roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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