Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Welp...herpes.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
