when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Let's get the cat blown out
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
