I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
