So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
