Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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