And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
