I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
