Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
