babies were throwing up all over the place
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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