from now on my penis is your penis
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
