So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
