How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
