My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
