if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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