In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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