Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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