Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
