Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
