You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
