While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
