I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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